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Psychological abuse...
As I shared in the Physical Abuse
section of my site, many people don't know what physical abuse is, or even when
it's happening. This could be denial, or one may simply not know due to what
I call the micro-culture that a person has grown up in (our families). (Also see the Physical Abuse
section of my site for what I say about growing up in a micro-culture).
Psychologically or Mental/Emotionally abusing someone
often carries profoundly deep wounds that simply can't be seen. A bruise on
the arm or under the eye is easily spotted, but the bruise to the psyche of
person, to a person's sense of themselves, to the connection to themselves is much more
difficult to spot. These types of abusive actions happens daily, and not
simply by someone labeled a batterer, but by society at large, as we
hurt each other often without knowing it. Below are some forms of psychological abuse. |
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Psychologically abusive behaviors...
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Attempting to control or dismiss a
partner's feelings ("Don't feel that way"; "You should feel...")
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Blaming the partner for things that are
not his/her fault
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Calling partner names
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Constantly criticizing or humiliating the
partner (you're such a wussy, bitch, etc)
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Displaying weapons
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Finding faults and continuously expressing
them
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Holding things over partner's head
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Humiliating partner, either in public or
private.
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Lying, manipulating and/or punishing the partner
when s/he gets angry
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Minimizing feelings (Oh, that wasn't so
bad)
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Putting down partner (put downs)
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Refusing to talk with partner
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Ridiculing
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Shouting
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Silent treatment/Tuning partner out
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Slamming doors
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Stomping out of the room during conflicts with partner
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Swearing, cursing
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Throwing objects against walls, or on floors
while partner is in the room in order to intimidate partner
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Trying to make partner think s/he is crazy
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Withholding affection
If I or my partner is doing anything on this list, this is a RED FLAG and it's an opportunity for me or my partner to get some help with this!
If I'm doing these things, I would consider attending an anger management program, individual therapy, journaling, taking walks, and just stepping out whenever I'm this pissed off. I would remember that the Anger Management and Individual therapy is a smart decision on my part. If my partner is doing these things, I have the opportunity to set up some BOUNDARIES, and if that doesn't work, I may need to re evaluate my relationship, and even think of leaving...yes, this includes if I have children or pets.
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NEWS |
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Thank You Metropolitan Community Church
of
West Hollywood, California!
I had the honor of facilitating a discussion on
"Emotionally Safe Sex"
with the "Youth Tribe" on
Friday December 8, 2006
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Psychological Abuse |
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Timing the
amount of time that the partner has been gone Checking the odometer on
the car Depriving partner from
holding a job (The inaccurate thinking here is “Wanting to take care of or keep partner) Interrogating the
partner about "free time" Jealous of anyone else
in the partner’s life (Example: "you've been having sex with them!") Preventing the partner
from seeing friends/family members and/or having pets Threatening harm to the
partner or self if the partner leaves
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