Jim Michael IMF #41341 Supervisor Richard Brewer, MFT License # MFC 35609

    
 

 Jim Michael, MA, CHt

    
 

 

 

 

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Physical Abuse.htm
Psychological Abuse.htm
Sexual Abuse.htm

 
 

Physical Abuse...

In my work in domestic violence, I've found that many people don't actually know what or maybe even when something is abusive.

Each of us has grown up in our own micro-culture called our FAMILY. That's where we learn what's okay and not okay. What's abusive to someone in family "A" may not be abusive at all to someone in family "B." For the family "B" person, it could simply be "talking with passion."

So it's important to identify just what abuse is. In compiling the physical abuse list below, some may appear more obvious than others, some are what would or could get one put in jail, and most of these came from actual clients in a domestic violence group that was mandated for clients to attend. 

 
 

Physically abusive behaviors...

  1. Attempts to run over or hit the partner with a vehicle

  2. Beating the partner until unconscious

  3. Biting the partner

  4. Blocking exits if the partner tries to leave

  5. Burning the partner

  6. Choking

  7. Depriving the partner of food/sleep/shelter

  8. Driving recklessly

  9. Drugging the partner

  10. Grabbing

  11. Hiding or changing HIV medications

  12. Kicking the partner

  13. Pulling the partner's hair

  14. Punching

  15. Pushing

  16. Restraining

  17. Scratching the partner

  18. Sexual, including unsafe or forced sex

  19. Shooting partner (with a gun/taser, electrical shock mechanism)

  20. Slapping

  21. Spitting at the partner

  22. Strangling

  23. Taking keys/property to keep the partner from leaving

  24. Taking, hides or changes HIV or other medication to keep partner from leaving

  25. Throwing things at the partner

  26. Throwing things at a wall, on the floor (this is intimidation)

  27. Using weapons against the partner

If I'm doing anything on this list or my partner is, this is a RED FLAG and it's an opportunity for me or my partner to get some help with this!

  • If I'm doing these things, I would consider attending an anger management program, individual therapy, journaling, taking walks, and just stepping out whenever I'm this pissed off. I would remember that the Anger Management and Individual therapy is a smart decision on my part.

  • If my partner is doing these things, I have the opportunity to set up some BOUNDARIES, and if that doesn't work, I may need to re evaluate my relationship, and even think of leaving...yes, this includes if I have children or pets.

 

 
 

NEWS


 

Thank You Metropolitan Community Church
of
West Hollywood, California!

I had the honor of facilitating a discussion on

"Emotionally Safe Sex"

with the "Youth Tribe" on
Friday December 8, 2006

 

 
 
 

Words in Domestic Violence


TRIGGER...
Anything or anyone that "triggers" discomfort or an "upset" inside of me is a TRIGGER. What is a  trigger for YOU? Traffic is a trigger for many people. 

TIME OUT...
When I take time away from the person or situation that is triggering my "upset," I'm taking a Time Out. Like a Time Out in a sporting event, a Time Out is a strong relationship tool that lets me take time to  re-group and rethink what's going on. It keeps my partner and me safe, and helps de-escalate a tense situation.